I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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