I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
