i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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