I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
