Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
