i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
