i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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