Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
