It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
