I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
