Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
