He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
