It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
