the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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