Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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