remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
