you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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