You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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