They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
how does that bad decision feel?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
