and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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