I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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