I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
