He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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