so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
