I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
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the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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