Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am in a vortex of obligation.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
