:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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