The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You were trust falling into bushes
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
