so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
