It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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