i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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