im gay
i know
yea but for you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dignity is for republicans.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
