What a fucking waste of an outfit
im holly from the hills drunk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
