On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
