bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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