i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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