i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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