I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
