Can Purell be used as lube?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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