just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
