About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
