Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
