she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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