She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
