I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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