It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh god it's open bar.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
