I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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