I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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