remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
