R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
