Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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