You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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