He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As shirtless as possible
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
