Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
